When we search for a relationship fantasy to save us, it means there’s a relationship reality we can’t sit with and are running from or are disassociated from.
There is a part of our story we have not claimed and owned. A part of ourselves in our past we’re trying to create separation from. We have abandoned a part of who we are. We have repressed the painful parts into the deep, cellular bowels of our being.
When we chase fantasy, we want one thing: AVOID REALITY.
This is revealed countless times when we choose someone WHO IS NOT GOOD FOR US.
This means: WE HAVE A WAR AGAINST OUR OWN REALITY.
We can’t be with reality and would rather live in dysfunctional delusion than be presented with our very own confronting reality.
The confronting reality is coming face-to-face with our unworthiness. It’s coming face-to-face with our shame. It’s coming face-to-face with a part of ourselves we...
A woundmate connection is another term for a trauma-bond connection.
A woundmate connection is a connection where we bond through our wounds, pain and trauma.
The connection, while potentially powerful and passionate, comes with large degrees of combustion and reactivity. While a heartmate connection often sees a partner bringing us the necessary medicine our soul needs, a woundmate connection usually amplifies and destabilizes our wounds and undigested hurts to an even greater degree.
"Much like a twin flames connection you hear talked about a lot in spiritual communities, a woundmate connection usually sees two similar puzzle pieces fighting to fit into the same piece of the puzzle."
This is why these connections can contain so much combustion and friction, both people are fighting for territory to be heard. “You just don’t understand me!” “No you just don’t understand me!”
They’re both searching and seeking medicine for their...