What do you vet for in the dating process?
What are you attracted to? What gives someone a place in your romantic orbit?
This is often something I will ask a client early on in our process when I’m coaching someone around love.
They may say things like:
Physical attraction. Chemistry. Sense of humour. Extroverted personality. Outgoing. Positive energy. Ambitious. Successful.
Those things are great but those qualities are how you vet someone for a really hot fucking fling. It’s like, yeah, it all looks on paper but how does this translate to great love?
I mean, if you want more of a surface level connection with a partner, then fine. Those are all great qualities to sustain a surface level relationship.
Surface level characteristics can make for an exciting and novelty filled beginning but they don’t stand the test of time, relationally.
If you want a soul bonded connection, you need to claim that level of connection to yourself.
I’m often asked what my NUMBER ONE most important piece of advice for a single person is.
My answer? It’s always the same:
Get your affairs in order.
And prepare to die alone.
I mean, cause, we die alone anyway. Even if you’re married your entire life, you still die alone. Even if you died at the exact same time as your loved one you still would be buried separately.
I mean maybe there is a story out there of a couple who put it in their will that they wanted to get buried in the same coffin?
Which is equal parts deeply fucked up and cute and romantic.
But if there is a story like that I’ve never heard of it. And I feel like if there were a story like that I would know about it.
Anyways back to my point…
Don’t just prepare to die alone but die a super shitty miserable death where you’re buried all by yourself in the corner of the worst fucking cemetery in your city.
“You know, with a horribly non durable headstone that’s...