Just because you’re married, it doesn’t mean you’re committed.
Just because you don’t cheat on your partner, it doesn’t mean you’re committed.
You see this all the time, people holding the bar of commitment to some form of external commitment.
Okay, well how committed are they to actually being connected in their relationship? How committed are they to being present and attuned to their partner? How committed are they to actually understanding their partner’s pain points and learning what makes make them tick?
Just like some couples get married to show how “committed” they are.
Or, let’s have a kid because we’re disconnected and see if that can bring us closer.
Shit brings me to a rage!
Well, getting married is not going to make your relationship anymore committed if you don’t actually know how to generate commitment on a deep...
One of the most common things I hear out in the dating space is, “I’m running out of time,” “I don’t have time,” “The clock is ticking!!”
The usual dating pattern in response to this is to go VERY QUICKLY and try to decide in the first month whether or not this is your person or the person you’re going to marry.
It all comes from this place of trying to create certainty IMMEDIATELY.
I wanna know and I wanna know quickly!!
The result is a lot of anxiety, massive over-analysis and coming into the dating place from a space of fear and scarcity.
What usually ends up happening are a lot of repetitive short-lived relationships that don’t work out.
That’s because we're showing up from this space of rushing and needing to know immediately.
We don’t think we have time, so we waste even more time by not actually vetting the human being.
You know we chase these ideas of “infatuation” and “you should just...
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone but not trusted their love for you?
While you knew they loved you, for some reason, you just couldn’t trust the stability of that love.
That’s because their love felt fickle. Like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind.
You know how they say that you can never really lose someone that was truly yours in the first place?
Well, this type of love has you feeling insecure. You have a hard time relaxing within the relationship because you have doubts about your true alignment and connection to this person.
In your heart of hearts, you feel like you’re capable of losing this person to somebody else better suited to them. You worry they will have an epiphany one day and suddenly realize that you aren’t right for each other. You worry about allowing them to be completely free to roam and grow outside the relationship because you fear they may grow or change away from you.
This leads to constant anxiety, frustration and...