When we search for a relationship fantasy to save us, it means there’s a relationship reality we can’t sit with and are running from or are disassociated from.
There is a part of our story we have not claimed and owned. A part of ourselves in our past we’re trying to create separation from. We have abandoned a part of who we are. We have repressed the painful parts into the deep, cellular bowels of our being.
When we chase fantasy, we want one thing: AVOID REALITY.
This is revealed countless times when we choose someone WHO IS NOT GOOD FOR US.
This means: WE HAVE A WAR AGAINST OUR OWN REALITY.
We can’t be with reality and would rather live in dysfunctional delusion than be presented with our very own confronting reality.
The confronting reality is coming face-to-face with our unworthiness. It’s coming face-to-face with our shame. It’s coming face-to-face with a part of ourselves we...
Lovers, we need to give our partners permission to be an asshole sometimes.
Now before you throw a hissy fit, it’s important we differentiate between being a bona-fide asshole versus occasionally displaying asshole behaviour.
There is an asshole person. Just general dicks. Their dickishness is very much permanent.
Being a bona-fide asshole means your heart is shaped like a dick. Or it’s shaped like a butthole, either or. Meaning being an asshole is just WHO YOU ARE.
Then there is asshole behaviour. This is human reality. Dicks on occasion. Your humanness gets the best of you sometimes. You’re a good person who sometimes does not act so good.
We all have bad days. You say the wrong thing. You do the wrong thing. You don’t show up in the way you’re capable of. You act out of integrity. You say something hurtful to someone you care about. You get triggered, you break down, you act on impulse, you overreact.