What do you vet for in the dating process?
What are you attracted to? What gives someone a place in your romantic orbit?
This is often something I will ask a client early on in our process when I’m coaching someone around love.
They may say things like:
Physical attraction. Chemistry. Sense of humour. Extroverted personality. Outgoing. Positive energy. Ambitious. Successful.
Those things are great but those qualities are how you vet someone for a really hot fucking fling. It’s like, yeah, it all looks on paper but how does this translate to great love?
I mean, if you want more of a surface level connection with a partner, then fine. Those are all great qualities to sustain a surface level relationship.
Surface level characteristics can make for an exciting and novelty filled beginning but they don’t stand the test of time, relationally.
If you want a soul bonded connection, you need to claim that level of connection to yourself.