What Does True Relational Commitment Really Mean?

Just because you’re married, it doesn’t mean you’re committed.

Just because you don’t cheat on your partner, it doesn’t mean you’re committed.

You see this all the time, people holding the bar of commitment to some form of external commitment.

You know, they must be so committed because they have been together for 30 years!

Okay, well how committed are they to actually being connected in their relationship? How committed are they to being present and attuned to their partner? How committed are they to actually understanding their partner’s pain points and learning what makes make them tick?

Just like some couples get married to show how “committed” they are.

Or, let’s have a kid because we’re disconnected and see if that can bring us closer.

Shit brings me to a rage!

Well, getting married is not going to make your relationship anymore committed if you don’t actually know how to generate commitment on a deep...

Continue Reading...

YOU Are The Love Story You've Been Waiting For

When I coach a client around love, the fastest way I usually create a breakthrough is by getting the client to tell me what they learned about love from their childhood. What they modelled from their parents, what they learned from their community around them, their peers, as well as their experiences in their interactions receiving love from their parents.

Usually when someone struggles in love throughout adulthood it’s because their core beliefs around love are in direct opposition to the love their soul and heart actually want. 

They have learned something, been living something, that is in direct opposition with what they actually need.

"Their programming and wiring around love is built on some form of self-rejection or self-abandonment." 

When people usually come to me who are living in chaos of some sort, it’s because their programming around love is leading to stress, anxiety and dysfunction, and they’re at this breaking point where what they...

Continue Reading...

Feel Like You're Dating Against The Clock?

One of the most common things I hear out in the dating space is, “I’m running out of time,” “I don’t have time,” “The clock is ticking!!”

The usual dating pattern in response to this is to go VERY QUICKLY and try to decide in the first month whether or not this is your person or the person you’re going to marry.

It all comes from this place of trying to create certainty IMMEDIATELY.

I wanna know and I wanna know quickly!!

The result is a lot of anxiety, massive over-analysis and coming into the dating place from a space of fear and scarcity.

What usually ends up happening are a lot of repetitive short-lived relationships that don’t work out.

That’s because we're showing up from this space of rushing and needing to know immediately.

We don’t think we have time, so we waste even more time by not actually vetting the human being.

You know we chase these ideas of “infatuation” and “you should just...

Continue Reading...

Why We Search For Relationship Fantasies To Save Us

When we search for a relationship fantasy to save us, it means there’s a relationship reality we can’t sit with and are running from or are disassociated from.

There is a part of our story we have not claimed and owned. A part of ourselves in our past we’re trying to create separation from. We have abandoned a part of who we are. We have repressed the painful parts into the deep, cellular bowels of our being.

Romantic dysfunction means one thing: DISCONNECTION FROM SELF.

When we chase fantasy, we want one thing: AVOID REALITY.

This is revealed countless times when we choose someone WHO IS NOT GOOD FOR US.

This means: WE HAVE A WAR AGAINST OUR OWN REALITY.

We can’t be with reality and would rather live in dysfunctional delusion than be presented with our very own confronting reality.

The confronting reality is coming face-to-face with our unworthiness. It’s coming face-to-face with our shame. It’s coming face-to-face with a part of ourselves we...

Continue Reading...
Close

50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.