This is a common thing we hear from one partner in a relationship…
MY PARTNER HAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
THEY’RE NOT READY. I’M READY. BUT THEY’RE NOT. THEY STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
THEY NEED TO FIGURE THEIR SHIT OUT.
THEY NEED TO WORK ON THEMSELVES.
MY PARTNER NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE.
THE ONUS IS ON MY PARTNER TO WORK ON THEMSELVES.
I MIGHT HAVE WORK TO DO, BUT MY PARTNER HAS MORE WORK, OR HAS DEEPER WORK TO DO.
It’s this self-inflation from one partner, pinning the sole weight of responsibility onto their partner’s shoulders as to why they’re having issues in the relationship, or drowning in a sea of relational dysfunction.
This is PARTICULARLY common when one partner is in the personal growth space and the other is not.
The partner in the personal growth space sees that if their partner just started doing the work they’re doing, all their relational quarrels would finally be resolved and they could have the...
Just because you’re married, it doesn’t mean you’re committed.
Just because you don’t cheat on your partner, it doesn’t mean you’re committed.
You see this all the time, people holding the bar of commitment to some form of external commitment.
Okay, well how committed are they to actually being connected in their relationship? How committed are they to being present and attuned to their partner? How committed are they to actually understanding their partner’s pain points and learning what makes make them tick?
Just like some couples get married to show how “committed” they are.
Or, let’s have a kid because we’re disconnected and see if that can bring us closer.
Shit brings me to a rage!
Well, getting married is not going to make your relationship anymore committed if you don’t actually know how to generate commitment on a deep...
I was recently interviewed on a podcast and asked what men need to do in order to have better relationships.
One of the things I said was men need to build emotional relationships with other men.
Without men building emotional relationships with other men, there is zero possibility these men will build amazing relationships with romantic partners in their life.
You don’t have low-level habits of relating and communicating in your friendships and then walk into a romantic partnership and suddenly have incredible high-level habits of relating and communicating.
You don’t revel in gossip with your girlfriends and then move into a relational container having this uncanny ability to adeptly carve out deep, introspective, nourishing and emotionally intimate conversations with your partner.
You don’t walk through life having difficulty...