I remember dating this girl one time who tried to tell me a relationship should never have disagreements, conflict or arguments.
I was like, “I actually believe that is what defines great relationships. How you work through conflict. How you both process your anger, individually, and together.”
As you can imagine, things ended soon after that conversation. As I am someone who has not only met his monster, but overindulged in his monster on far too many occasions.
She was the sweetest, kindest woman but she had not met her monster. She was not willing to meet her monster. She was not willing to work with her monster. In fact, she didn’t even believe she had a monster.
But, WE ALL HAVE A MONSTER. Some of us are just more acquainted with it than others.
So you might be wondering…
OUR MONSTER = OUR ANGER
OUR MONSTER = THE DARK CORNERS OF WHO WE ARE
Our monster is the explosive, reactive part of us....
I’ll admit something...
I’m usually the last one to move on after a breakup. At least relationships where I’d actually fallen for the person. I rarely fall but when I fall, I fall fast, I fall hard, and it’s hard for me to get back up after I fall.
For this reason...
I’m usually the one still reeling after the breakup, tending to my wounds and processing the breakup while I watch my ex update her profile picture with someone new.
"I’ve been in love four times in my life. I’ve also been heartbroken four times as well. Go figure, right?"
I’m good at not giving a shit. I can not give a shit with the best of them. But every time I’ve ever given a shit in a relationship, I’ve eaten shit. Metaphorically of course.
Interestingly, there is a pattern that has presented itself.
The first girl I was in love with broke it off with me because she met a guy who made it clear to her that her and I were not the right fit together.